It came down…

…in big pellets, landing on my head as I finished my run.

Cold.

Awakening.

Immediately, my mind went to my afternoon and the regrets I held in my actions. There have been many days like this in my past of which I hold the same deep regrets.

The inability to hold in your feelings when they bubble up, the passion behind words that you feel in a moment but later reside somewhat, the frustration at yourself for being unable to articulate yourself in a more tactful way in that moment, the desperate attempt to be understood and the realization that you are failing miserably at it…

The hope that one day you can control that portion of your personality, coupled with the defiance that you should be appreciated for being so passionate and expressive in the first place…

The rain fell harder and I let it wash upon me.

I thought about all the many things rushing through my mind these days. The huge shifts going on in my life.

Knowing that I’m in a period of transition professionally, and also realizing that a choice is coming–one way or the other–that will change my position again. Again, I will be in flux and trying to find my place. Feeling anxious about that but also somewhat excited….and curious.

I let the rain wash over me and I forced myself let it all go for now. I focused on how I felt.

Tired, but invigorated.

Proud of my run.

Strong, both physically and in my convictions.

Cooled by the downpour.

Calmed.

Centered.

No matter where my life may take me, most of all I strive to have this kind of momentary peace more often in it. Come rain or shine…