It’s a good time to start over, isn’t it?

November of 2008 will hopefully one day be marked in my memory as the month it all changed for me. I’m not just talking about losing the blog persona and getting more real with my writing, but something a bit bigger.

If you’ve followed my previous writings, you know several things already. I have type II diabetes. I was diagnosed about 3 years ago. I’ve struggled with my weight and getting fit, but mostly with my diet ever since. I’ve hit all the various phases of dealing with an long term disease–denial, abundant optimism, anger, false hope, apathy, self-loathing, you name it.

But, what I have never done is really fully accept that my life has to be different on just almost every level for me to live a long and happy life. Period.

About a year ago, I was stunned when after having a scan done on my carotid arteries, I was told that, at 37, I had one artery that mirrored that of a 44-year-old and the other that matched that of a 50-something-year-old. I was put on cholesterol meds immediately and tried to work on getting fit.

Since that time, I’ve seen a trainer and gotten more fit, watched my father’s health slide as he is now facing surgery for his carotid arteries (at least I know where I get this problem, unlike the diabetes) and I then let my own fitness, diet, and medical care slide too much.

When my doctor’s office advertised the six-month weight loss program that comes complete with visits with the dietitian, weekly training, shopping trips and personalized counseling, and a full work-up on one’s health, I jumped at it. Never-mind the fact that it costs a deposit to sign up–one cool thing was they will pay me if I reach my goal and have stayed with the program guidelines by the end. Being paid to lose weight? Uh, hello? Sign me up!

So, the big day came and there I sat, having the ultrasound done on my arteries. I could feel sweat beads forming on my forehead. I was very nervous. I had not taken my medicine consistently over the past 3-4 months. Testing my blood sugar had become a rarity, and I wasn’t eating the right way really. This was only a month or so after my doctor had bragged me for losing about 12 pounds over the past year. I had blamed it on Hurricane Ike and having family with us, but really it was all about me not being accountable to myself.

When the doctor then told me that my arteries were now that of a 68-year-old, I could not help it. Tears welled up in my eyes and I fought back crying, trying to contain my fear.

Genetics has dealt me a tough blow that apparently is made worse with age and with weight gain. And, what I realize now is that I can’t deny this. I can’t pretend like this problem is not here, or I won’t be here in another few years at all. I can’t let my fear paralyze me either, afraid that I will be driving my kids to a practice one day and just have a stroke right there and be gone. I can’t make excuses. I can only take action and do everything I can, as aggressively as I can, to turn back the clock on those arteries.

So, I joined the program and we had our first meeting late last week. I will give more experiences from that meeting another time. But, suffice to say, it is a first step in a very long hike that I must climb to getting myself where I should be for optimal health.

I’ve added a section across my mention for posts such as these called “Fit Cat.” I debated on what to call this, but that seems to be the most positive way to say what really am focusing on right now–really finding optimal health. I’ve got to get off some of this medication and I need to do everything I can to fix this problem. I may not have control over the genetic makeup of my body, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit back and let those genes ruin my life completely.

Check back for more updates on my weight loss program, which I will hopefully come up with a clever name for soon. (Got any ideas, leave ‘em in my comments). I hope to also share any tips I come across and possibly some recipes.