Is your friendship real, or is it Memorex?

Lately, I’ve noticed something pretty interesting from all my Facebook activity. It’s something I’ve wondered about in the past. I’m talking about friendships versus perceptions of friendships.

What I mean is, have you ever had a friend that you considered a friendly acquaintance only to find out that they thought of you as one of their closest friends? How about someone that you thought of very fondly who really barely remembered you years later?

I’ve been on the receiving end of both scenarios recently. I got a note from a friend on FB who asked me how another mutual acquaintance of ours from our school was doing. I honestly didn’t know who she was referring to at first, and assumed she was asking about my husband but had remembered his name wrong. Later, she clarified and gave me the name of a boy from our school who I was friendly with. It was a boy that I’d been told had a crush on me back then and who was good friends with several of my closer guy friends. I’d never spoken to him after high school and really only chatted with him on occasion even then. But, apparently, he’d talked enough about me to this girl friend that she thought we were quite close. And, that kind of blew my mind, because I had no idea.

It was flattering a little, but I would soon learn what it felt like to be on the losing end of a perceived great friendship too. A dear friend of mine from the same era of my life popped up on FB. I was elated, and even posted a quick status message saying so–thankfully without naming him. I immediately sent him a friend request with a quick note asking how he was and telling him how excited I was to see him on there. This was one of two guy friends who I regretting losing touch with and who made high school a blast for me.

I got back a pleasant but short note saying hello and he’d have to email me more later and catch up.

You guessed it–I haven’t heard from him again. It isn’t that I think he dislikes me and I know that at one point I was one of his closest friends in school, but I guess my memory held him in really high regard and his memory of me? Well, maybe it had just faded.

Have you ever been on the receiving in of a mismatch when it comes to friendship perspectives? Has Facebook dealt your ego a blow, or given it a lift, or–as it did with me–has it done both? Life sure is funny, isn’t it?